I'd like to complain about the dreadful lack of spelling mistakes in your web pages. Now that we British no longer run the world, it seems it has become fashionable to have lots of spelling mistakes in journalism nowadays. In your pages I only noted the single, following error, namely - "Their were inevitable etc." I would also like to complain about the writer's grossly unfair use of the phrase "drunken humanity". I was there on that Xmas eve at the Prince Consort. I feel the word 'sub-humanity' would be far more appropriate and its inclusion will almost certainly prevent other members of the audience from taking your good self to court on a charge of libel for misinforming the public. Also, without trying to sound presumptuous, although hoping indeed to sound quiveringly pompous, I wonder if I might take the liberty of naming myself as the No. 1 Waltons fan. I understand perfectly if people feel this is an outrageously unacceptable pretension that deserves to have me smacked lightly but firmly about the cheeks with a pair of leather gloves, but I do know several of the lyrics to the first verse of that well-known Walton's anthem "Ploghed Ice"! I leave it to other Walton's fans to better that and prove they are a bigger fan than me.
Hmm..quiveringly pompous? you clearly have too much time on your hands Rob. Have you written anything about the Be-Bop Dustbins yet?
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And while I'm complaning any way can I complain about the transparent deception perpertrated by members of the Waltons who respond to this web page under ridiculous pseudonyms in an effort to give the impression that there is some kind of dialougue between the creators of this web page and an adoring public.
Yes self advertisment is not on is it?
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A Reply To Tony Cornell's Biography of The Bebop Dustbins
by Mr. R. Martin, lead singer 1984-1985.
I was outraged but hardly surprised and yet secretly pleased at Tony Cornell's
out-pourings. Let me tell you why. The truth is that, at the time, I always
had my doubts about dear Tony Cornell although the rest of the band would hear
none of it. They would berate me for my reservation and suspicion about the
bloke. He was an agreeable enough person but there was something about him
which I didn't feel comfortable with. I kept on saying that one day he would
turn against us and spell our downfall and humiliation, like some sort of
irresistibly corrosive Trojan Judas. The band of course stood up for him and
said I was being paranoid, egotistical, self-obsessed. They felt he'd done
nothing to deserve our distrust and that, in this instance, I was being a
prima-donna. I felt uncomfortable when alone with him for I was convinced he
was saying "Oedipus Rex" to me but in such a quiet voice that I couldn't be
sure. When they weren't around, he seemed to be taunting me with this phrase.
I now realise, on reading Tony Cornell's writing about us, that we have indeed
ended up in an Oedipus Rex situation. Journalistically and hyper-spatially,
Tony Cornell, the bastard, has shagged us senseless and has now killed us off,
in order to claim the crown. He comes across well and has managed to usurp
the biographical glory that should have been ours but which he skilfully
colonised, annexed and then conquered.
Yes, I had asked Alan to get someone who knew the band to write a piece for
your site, and you might say therefore it,s my fault if Alan picks the wrong
person. But I hadn't expected the gross libel I see on the Net. Admittedly,
Tony was a 'friend' or rather what we considered at that time as a friend.
However, Time is not only a great healer but is obviously a great poisoner
too, as the passage of a decade or so has evidently soured Tony's view of us.
What are the true reasons for his withering attack on us? He supposedly made
these explicit in his article but this is a case of 'mock explicit'. I do not
believe his stated motives. The real reasons for his betrayal of us remain
hidden. I feel a desperate, last-ditch rear-guard action is required from us
and we must now resort to the age-old tactics of an exposed, naked Island band
that has been backed into a corner without a towel. We will have to lash out
hysterically in the dark with testicles while trying to hide our denials with
our hands.
1. I deny that we only ate rice and Pot Noodles.
2. I deny that we were fools or idiots or boasters.
3. I deny that our music was poor, unmelodious and under practised.
4. I deny that we bleated.
5. I deny that bit about impersonations.
6. I deny that we were a Boy Band.
7. I deny that we were good-looking and that we had gorgeous bodies.
8. I deny that there was no tedious, heavy laundry work for Tony Cornell to
do.
If denials fail, then blacken the name of your adversary. Although an
efficient worker, Tony was a tedious, officious little man, given to lecturing
us continually on punctuality, precision and the history of barbwire. We had
an ambivalent attitude towards him. He pissed us off with his aloofness and
seriousness and was often a pain in the arse. And yet we put up with him and
even enjoyed his company at times on stormy winter nights. For example, Rick
showed me Alan's diary from that time. Here is a telling entry.
Tues. 19th Feb. 1985
Fucking jealous of Cornell.Wish I was as rigid, erect, straight and military
precise as him. The BASTARD.Hate the way he deliberately walks past me very
slowly with his chest out, knowing I'm seething with envy.After practice,
Cornell made us hot chocolate.Excellent. Rob being prat - thinks Cornell is
saying eedipus(sic)rex at him.
And lastly he hardly mentions the band at all. He is a GIT and a BASTARD. I
hope he rots in his filthy lies. He has written disgusting lies about us.
Here is the truth. We were, in fact, a hard-drinking, hard-shagging,
hard-swearing Rock band who took loads of drugs and were very popular with
girls.
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